Tying the Knot
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Author: Rob Green
A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage
Advised by both tellers of fairy tales and harbingers of doom, many engaged couples simply don’t know what to expect from marriage, so they focus their anxious energies on the wedding day. Rob Green, a pastor, counselor, and veteran of many premarital counseling sessions, shares that the joy, fun, companionship, and love couples hope for before marriage are not only possible, they are actually God’s plan for marriage. But none of these wonderful things happen automatically when you tie the knot. A strong and satisfying marriage must be intentionally built on Jesus.
Tying the Knot offers soon-to-be-married couples a practical vision of Christ-centered marriage that is realistic, hopeful, and actionable. This nine-session study guides couples through issues like conflict, expectations, communication, finances, and intimacy, showing how each can be successfully resolved with Christ at the center of the marriage.
Knowing the stresses and needs of a couple in their season of engagement, Green has helpfully designed the study to require a manageable (and healthy) 60 minutes of at-home work per session, with questions and exercises to build communication and intimacy at the end of each chapter. Tying the Knot also includes an appendix for mentors, making it easy for a married couple, lay leader, or counselor to lead an engaged couple through the book.
Field-tested and recommended by multiple counselors in a thriving counseling practice, Tying the Knot has already guided many couples into a stronger and more joyful union. Let this nine-week premarriage study reorient your life and marriage around Christ, so you both will experience all the blessings of marriage as God designed it.
- Presents a day-to-day vision of Christ-centered marriage that is realistic, hopeful, and practical
- Demonstrates clearly—in just nine chapters or sessions—how issues like conflict, expectations, communication, finances, and intimacy can only be successfully and satisfyingly approached with Christ at the center of a marriage
- Field tested and recommended by multiple counselors in a thriving counseling practice
- Highly practical and accessible for couples, requires about 60 minutes of weekly at-home work
- Includes chapter-by-chapter exercises and questions for couples to do separately and together to build communication and intimacy
- Includes an appendix for mentors to guide couples through the book
About the author:
Rob Green, MDiv, PhD, is the Pastor of Counseling and Seminary Ministries at Faith Church (Lafayette, IN), as well as an instructor and counselor at Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries, Biblical Counseling Coalition Board member, and author of counseling minibooks. He and his wife Stephanie have three children.
“Rob Green has given us a practical, biblical, and Jesus-focused premarital book to use with couples preparing for marriage. If marriage according to Ephesians 5:32 is really designed to put the love of Jesus and his bride (the church) on display, then it stands to reason that we should be talking about Jesus from the very beginning with couples who are preparing for marriage. Rob addresses all the critical areas that need to be covered but does it in a way that keeps coming back to Jesus. For years we’ve adapted existing material and always felt like something was missing. It wasn’t something; it was Someone, and Tying the Knot puts that Someone back where he’s supposed to be—at the center of marriage. There’s no better way to help a couple get started right in marriage than to help them see Jesus at the center of it all.” ~Pastor Brad Bigney, Grace Fellowship Church, Florence, KY; ACBC certified counselor; conference speaker; author ofGospel Treason: Betraying the Gospel with Hidden Idols
“One of the most neglected areas of counseling in the life of the church has to be premarital counseling. Often seen as a perfunctory hurdle to jump through, premarital counseling can quickly become stale and mechanical. Rob Green has provided the church an excellent new resource for premarital counseling that is biblically-saturated, Christ-centered, and clearly written. From the discussion questions at the end of each chapter to the guide for mentors in the back, this book is a perfect blend of theology for real life.” ~Jonathan Holmes, Pastor of Counseling, Parkside Church, author of The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship
“I would have loved to read this book with my wife while we were engaged. So practical, so wise. Engaged couples, listen carefully to Rob Green.” ~Andy Naselli, Assistant Professor of New Testament and Biblical Theology, Bethlehem College & Seminary, Minneapolis, MN
“. . . with Jesus as the center of your life.” Rob Green embeds those vital words into the title of each chapter in Tying the Knot. Marital love, problem solving, roles and expectations, communication, finances, community, intimacy—all the issues that every marriage faces—can be addressed with self as the center (solution-focused) or with Jesus as the center (gospel-centered and soul-u-tion-focused). Whether you’re a pastor, counselor, marriage mentor, premarital couple, or married couple, use Tying the Knot to join marriages to the cross. From now on, this is the book I will recommend for premarital and marital counseling.” ~Bob Kellemen, Author of Gospel-Centered Counseling and Gospel Conversations
“Rob Green has provided us with a wonderful new gospel-centered resource to help engaged couples prepare for marriage. This book repeatedly emphasizes that marriage is founded upon God’s love for us in Christ and is filled with personal examples and practical illustrations which come from years of faithful biblical counseling. One of the best qualities of Tying the Knot is its brevity. Rob covers the most important issues succinctly so that a busy engaged couple should have sufficient time to complete this study and the homework assignments in the months leading up to marriage. Another unique feature is that Rob has gone to extra effort (including an appendix) to make it easy for a mentor couple to work through this material with an engaged couple. I am sure that the Lord will use this book to bless many and I look forward to using it with many couples in the future.” ~Dr. Jim Newheiser, Executive Director, The Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship (ICBD)
“Tying the Knot is a great book for those considering marriage. It was written by a fellow counselor with a wealth of practical experience in helping marriages get and stay healthy. Who better to help a couple navigate the most important issues from a biblical perspective to ensure a great marriage from the start? The topics are highly relevant and the homework will help any counselor or couple to put these crucial lessons into practice. I gladly recommend this book to anyone involved in premarital counsel or work.” ~Dr. Garrett Higbee, Executive Director of Biblical Soul Care, Harvest Bible Chapel and of the Biblical Counseling Coalition
“Firmly placing Jesus at the center of your marriage is the consistent theme that runs throughout this book. Tying the Knot doggedly shows the connection between having such an amazing Savior and things like communication or budgets. Where it can be easy to fall into mechanistic teaching, Rob Green draws the line from Christ’s obedience and provision to our lives. I appreciated his focus on the community of Christ and its importance in marriage. I recommend this book to anyone who is doing premarital counseling.” ~Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author of Counsel from the Cross
“Even if you never got farther than chapter 1 (“Jesus Must Be the Center of Your Life”) in Tying the Knot, this book would be well worth reading. But if you continue reading, you’ll find treasure piled upon treasure. This book will strengthen not only those just starting out in marriage, but also those who have been married for decades. Read it and be encouraged.” ~Amy Baker, Ministry Resource Director, Faith Church, Lafayette, IN; author of Picture Perfect: When Life Doesn’t Line Up
“Tying the Knot offers acompelling vision of how Jesus must be central to your life and marriage. Such a vision gives hope, brings relief, and most important, stirs your affections for Christ. Rob, a seasoned husband and pastor, applies timeless gospel truths to matters of the heart while offering practical biblical guidance for those approaching their wedding day and for those married for years. I wholeheartedly recommend Tying the Knot.” ~Robert K. Cheong, Pastor of Care, Sojourn Community Church, Louisville, KY
“Rob has masterfully woven together three crucial elements for marriage and marriage preparation. Tying the Knot is solidly biblical, immensely practical, and unapologetically Christ-centered. Christian couples, pastors, and lay leaders will be well served in making this book one of their go-to resources for marriage preparation, and the church will be well served by this book for generations to come.” ~Jack Delk, Pastor for Counseling – North Campus, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, MN
“Dr. Green has provided a resource I didn’t know I needed so badly. Like many pastors, I use my own material but have always been suspicious that it needed improvement. Suspicion confirmed. Green understands two things particularly well: the dynamics of how real people relate and how those dynamics reveal their constant need for Jesus Christ. The practical exercises that flow from these insights will make it easy on counselors helping couples to prepare for marriage.” ~Dr. Jeremy Pierre, Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling & Dean of Students, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
“How does God minister his grace through you to another one of his children in marriage? In a culture of self, where can one get guidance for a Savior-focused marriage? In Tying The Knot, Rob Green provides a biblical, Christ-centered, practical, hope-filled tool to assist individuals in learning how to partner with Christ to become instruments of his grace to their spouses.” ~Dr. A. Charles Ware, President of Crossroads Bible College; coauthor of Just Don’t Marry One and Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling
“No one on earth truly knows what you will face in marriage—not in the details at least. Endless are the possible joys and pains, the trials and circumstances, the sins and graces, the shifts and surprises, the people who will come and go. Everything will change. Preparing for this is a serious task. Rob Green offers a kind of preparation for marriage that does not center upon the ever-shifting circumstances of life, but upon the Lord Jesus Christ and upon his everlasting Word.Tying the Knot labors to orient you around the Person who will be there, who knows what will come, who is faithful and mighty, and who will give you manifold wisdom for the endless possibilities of marriage.” ~John Henderson, Associate Pastor, Del Ray Baptist, Alexandria, VA
“Premarital counseling is needed now more than ever in our culture. The scourge of unhappy marriages and so-easy divorce has led many to believe that marriage is an institution that is no longer workable. Tying the Knot is a hope-filled, theologically sound, ‘you can do marriage God’s way and here’s how’ manual. Green’s careful unpacking of key Scriptures coupled with practical application assignments makes this book a winner. It is intended as a premarital counseling manual, but it would also be helpful for small group study or a sermon-series primer. Get it and use it!” ~Randy Patten, Director of Training and Advancement, The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors
“Dr. Rob Green’s succinct and timely resource, Tying the Knot, helps couples strengthen their relationships with each other and with Christ as they work with a mentor to align their goals for the future with the biblical wisdom found in God’s Word. The well-planned discussion questions in each chapter, the outline of the book, and the very helpful ‘Just for the Mentors’ section are but three of the great aspects of this book that will be much appreciated by pastors and all those who conduct premarital counseling.” ~Mark E. Shaw, Pastor and Executive Director, Vision of Hope; author of The Heart of Addiction and Addiction-Proof Parenting
“Companies have start-up manuals that they require you to read and follow when beginning a new job. Yet when it comes to starting one of the most important human relationships—marriage—many do not seek or even know to seek guidance and preparation from above for what is ahead. Rob has contributed a tremendous resource for the caring of souls in the church where new marriage engagements are concerned. Tying the Knot is Christ-centered, biblically-based, and easy to comprehend. This book comprehensively addresses the key issues in beginning and growing a marriage and would be invaluable for anyone embarking on their marital journey. I highly recommend this to pastors, counselors, young couples, and even as a refresher for married couples.” ~Stuart W. Scott, Professor of Biblical Counseling, The Master’s College
“There has long been a need for a solid premarital counseling curriculum that roots everything in Scripture, is realistic about the joys and challenges of marriage, and most importantly makes Christ central to everything. Rob Green’s Tying the Knot accomplishes this, and offers much, much more.” ~Deepak Reju, Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Family Ministry, Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, DC; author of The Pastor and Counseling and On Guard; President of the Board, Biblical Counseling Coalition
“As you anticipate your wedding, one of life’s biggest events, there’s no greater gift than a wise friend to help guide you along the pathway of preparation and decision-making. Rob Green serves as your friend on this journey, assisting you to build a foundation for a strong and lasting marriage. In addition to his useful teaching, the practical exercises per chapter, and mentor appendix prove invaluable.” ~Kevin Carson, Pastor, Sonrise Baptist Church, Ozark, MO; Professor, Baptist Bible College and Theological Seminary, Springfield, MO